Chris Slevin: Does Anyone Really Care?
by Seth Pohorence, co-coolest kid alive 

This article is for those who suffer day to day with one of DeSales seniors. His name is Chris, and no one can stand him! From freshman year all he has done is annoy people. Sometimes you have to feel sorry for him, but now, it's to the point that I really don't care! He comes in everyday, annoying you. How, you ask? Well, he says retarded comments that aren't funny. Not good enough for you, heh? Well, every time people say things, regardless if they have any humor in them, he laughs as if Robin Williams did a Brooklyn mime impersonation. You just wanna just yell, "What the hell is wrong with you!?!" Not only that, the teachers can't stand him. In art class all he does is talk non stop about the dumbest things, it gets really annoying really fast! Also, he is the worst driver in the world, hands down! He's worst than any blonde. He buys a car, drives it until he's wrecked. He says there never his fault. How could one person go through nearly a dozen cars in 2 years and not be at fault for any accidents!?! Is he some kind of moron? I believe so, because his insurance is unbelievably high! He's also insane. Freshman year, he threw a desk at Bio teacher, mullet enthusiast, Scott Redding. Also he's threatened to kill another student, yup and he's still not expelled. So what are we to do. I don't know, but if he still bothers me.... POW! I wail him like Troost!

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