Create A prom!

(Lighter Fluid sold separately)

‘Tis the season for lost virginity, public drunkenness and shattered hearts and dreams. No I’m not talking about Ascension Thursday (It’s a Catholic Thing). Ladies and Genitals, Its prom season, where the dressmakers get richer and the students get poorer, along with the date pool. With most girls being huge….

The BBC would like to interupt Seth’s rambling on about how “loose” girls are and how they won’t return his phone calls or acknowledge him when he’s hiding out in the shrubs at your home and he was his bonoculars focused on your bedroom and has a vial of Vasoline….

BBC 2 would like to interrupt the BBC announcer telling those horrid deatials of how Seth is a desperate, perverted freak who will do anything, no matter how obscene or vile the act maybe to get females. But those are all lies. Seth is a really great guy. He’s very sensitive and from there it only gets better. Seth loves to listen and wants to be with you, ladies. He will work long and hard to have your heart, because he cares. He loves long walksi n the park, talking to you obviously. Along with that he loves foreign films, rainbows, and eating yo…..

BBC 3 would like to interupt the BBc 2 announcer for droning on and on about the Seth Pohorence dating infomercial but we’ll now direct you to the main cause.

I’ll sidetrack away from getting a date to Ascension Thursday, er, I mean prom. The prom committee at DeSales held court in February. There I was horribly dissappointed in our prom. The theme is horrible, a Bon Jovi song, I’ll be There For you. Come on the man has one of the worst hair cuts, only trailing Donald Trump (C’mon Donny, You have a ton of money and yet you let your mom cut your hair!). The color is this ugly metallic shimmery pink and silver, and these Precious Moments-esque logo makes me wanna barf! I’ll tell you people what My Prom would be like.

DeSales Prom ’04 (Approved by the Senior Males)

The theme would definitely be the song that most of our parents lost their virginity to, concieved most of us, had their first kiss, had their first dance, and robbed a liquor store to: Stairway To Heaven. Yes the eight minute Zeppelin epic would be given the nod. It’s got everything romance, flutes, guitars, Jimmy Page, and did I mention flutes.

The colors would be very classy and simple, black and white, not to be confused with the song by Three Dog Night.

The logo would obviously be of a man and woman walking up the “stairway to heaven”. That screams the point of prom, get while the getting is good.

Mrs. Tracey has assured me that Stairway will be played so I can make out and dance with my date in ecstasy because that song is amazing. I will no doubt show up looking like gentleman agent James Bond. I’m going with the white dinner jacket and black pants, black bow tie, and red carnation, similar to that of Sean Connery in the opening of Goldfinger. Ladies can see Seth by watching that movie 2000 times and imaging that Seth is Connery and making out with you.