Fighting the Machine... in Style
By Blake Cooper,
SYP Staff Writer, co-chairman of the board

Now, i've not attended many high schools in my life, so i don't know how things work in other places, but Canandaigua Academy has a reputation to uphold. Most people would expect this, considering it's a public school with the word 'Academy' in the name, but still, the reputation goes far beyond anything an outsider can imagine. Whereas most schools can simply get by on federal funding and local taxes, the prestigious Canandaigua Academy is so... prestigious, that it need more money. And where does that money usually come from? Why, from the students, of course! Every year the school squeezes hard earned dollars from student with 'mandatory' purchases, such as lock & towel, agenda, and picture fees. And for the past three years i've been suckered into it, and have probably spent more than $30 on shit i don't need. This may not seem like a lot, but it's thirty dollars i'll never see again. So this year everything's changed. I'm not going to give in to their facist money schemes! And for others that are in the same boat, i offer this little guide...

Step One: Senior Picture

This one is tough, obviously, because who doesn't want a senior picture? If you don't have a senior picture, there will be nothing to laugh at thirty years from now when your friends are sitting at a table drunk, going through the few possessions of yours your wife didn't take along with the car and kids... sorry, i know that's a little pessimistic... but back to the main point.

This is the letter i received in the mail today. this is a crappy scan, so i'll summarize: "you MUST purchase senior pictures at the photographers that WE authorize, and if you don't, chances are you will not meet our THOUSANDS of requirements for senior photos." What nazis! They even specify head size ("1 1/4 inch head size measure from the top of the hair to the bottom of the chin") Well, i made a decision a few months ago that getting a professional senior picture taken was a waste of both time and money, and i'm not one to go back on my decisions. But then i realized... why not just attempt to do it myself! The requirements, while plentiful and picky, can be easily match if i really try:

    a) Photo and Head size - Through the wonders of Photoshop, this is nothing. simply measure and resize.

    b) Light background color - The walls in my house are white. Take the picture at home, that's pretty much impossible to screw up!

    c) No soft focus, No hands, No hats, No props, No over the shoulder - this is where i'm probably going to screw up something out of carelessness, but it's worth a shot.

They also have a list of "recommended" photographers... hmmm.... this sounds suspiciously like a business deal. Is it possible that the school gets a part of the cut of the pricey photos by forcing their students to get their pictures taken there (hmm.... i smell an expose coming on).

The way i see it, i'll send in my DIY photo, and if they reject it, oh well... they can always burn in hell.

Step Two: "Agendas"

Again, i don't know about your school, but we have "agendas:" little books with schedules and appointments and such. All students are required to have one, AND they cost $5 (my 2002-2003 agenda seen below, defaced beyond belief). 

But the problem i have with agendas go wayyyy beyond the cost. These books are published by Premier, in association with Stephen Covey, the author of "Seven Habits of Highly Successful Teens," This mind washing, propaganda filled book has been completely monopolizing schools for years, inventing courses, workshops... even these "agendas" to "help" students... yeah, right... maybe to help them write out big fat checks to Stephen Covey every year... and of course the school gets a cut. But this year, no way José, I'm keeping my appointments in a regular damn notebook... free of charge!

In Conclusion...

   For all the money the school gets from students through these unfair business practices, they should at least offer something free in return. But NO! The school lunches go up every year, there are still repeated fees for things like agendas and IDs. Consider this: In the four years the average student attends Canandaigua Academy, they will probably spend around $100 on repeated fees for agendas, lock and towel, and probably around $400 for school lunches ($1.25 a lunch, 20 days in a month, ten months in a year X four years = a lot more than $400, so i think i'm being generous here), that's $500 a student. Now stay with me here: Canandaigua Academy has probably around 1300 students, so thats $500 times 1300 students = $650,000 per every four-year cycle of students! Since 1990, the school has made roughly 2 million off of it's students. So how about we cut down on the $2.00 school lunches, the $5.00 agenda, the $2.00 ID, and the $50.00 pictures, okay?